Who gets the bigger pie? A tale of fears that we carry on our shoulders

What is this pie? Why exactly is this guy yapping about it in a blog? Yeah, honestly speaking, there is no point to that and also, ironically enough, that is the entire point. Everything we do and refrain from doing does not need to come with a price tag called Reason and an operational manual. Sometimes, it is the guilty break that stretched for too long and other times, it is the overwhelmingly complicated task that is put in front of you. At the end of the day, the source of your issue and the solution that you try to make up to your problem may not be relevant to you improving your present situation but, would that ever stop you from making your present state of mind better? This blog right now aims to talk about these very fundamentally ingrained fears that our mind has that do not materialize into actionable items for us to address in daily life. Whether you solve a difficult problem or not, your next morning will still await you while you pass out of exhaustion after burning your midnight oil. What matters is that you wake up without the burden of feeling like a loser about yesterday and being a little optimistic about today. I am right now trying to talk about the ignored, research about the unknown and finally curate all the "yet to be heard" into a blog which you might drop off in between for how literal it gets but should or would that stop me from writing what I want to?

Death, as a concept, fills us with fear of a great degree and it is also healthy and human to have some of it. But, in order to decipher the fear of death, we must first address birth. Birth as an animal is more or less equal across the jungle book unless there is some biological screw-up that is. Birth as a human, however, is complex because you exist in something called a society where rules are made as a monarchy and implemented under the veil of democracy in some places. Right from birth and where, who, and how you are born as, there are a heap load of tags and associations decorated around your neck. These tags formulate the kind of privileges you get to deserve. You are neither asked if you want to have it nor are you asked if you want that to be snatched away from you because of how you were born. The reasoning for why this snatching is not even given a fair explanation is because it would be pushed towards your before life and afterlife. Two concepts that you cannot comprehend or understand during your birth right now. Well, about death, your fear emerges from it being imminent, painful, and unreasonable, and most of the time, it is true. But, what can you do about it when it is an uncontrollable component? Life is easy when you understand to control the controllables. The only thing that you can control is understanding your privileges, unleashing your peak potential, and trying to experience everything that you humanly can.

There is also a fear of unlimited suffering that you are given because of a situation, a person, or even a concept. Take for example toxicity, it need not be evident and out there but even then, you suffer something because of someone else, for them being a certain someone in your life. You suffer all that but would never say something over the expectation that they would realize it, that is being toxic to your own self. You doing things for them is not toxic. You expecting them to acknowledge all your small efforts and then make amends to you for the same is toxic. We talk so much about this suffering, pain, and regrets, all while ignoring the fact that those incidents are what made you who you are right now. Even barring all that, we all are masochists to some degree in various parts of life. Maybe, we don't exactly enjoy the suffering to begin with but we surely don't have a clue as to how we would be able to go by life if that suffering did not exist. For some people, the suffering seems like the price to pay in order to then redeem whatever they think that they don't deserve due to their imposter syndrome.

The one other major fear everybody harbors internally but never voices out is about how they are seen by the people outside. The perception one conjures about you is something we are all very conscious about but will never take the initiative to ask and converse about the same. There could be several reasons for why that conversation would not translate to real life and that is okay as long as you don't overwhelm yourself about the same. Although, how we get perceived is not symbiotically compatible with what our conscious state of mind is. Our entire perception of the outer world gets designed based on the instinctive, split-second decisions and actions we commit rather than a carefully curated thought born out of our intelligence. Your wisdom is given more value and respect when trying to form an image of yours over your actual IQ. Coming back to, who gets the bigger pie? Well, the pie was always yours, you just feared if someone else was coming for the taking. As long as you believe that you deserve and want something, you won't get even a tiny piece of that pie.

If you do hate the pie, it could be anything. Pie was just a placeholder. Oops! By the end of the blog, I got vulnerable enough to show my fear. My fear of accounting and counting everybody's opinion when I clearly know that I will fail at some point. So, all I want to say is that having fears is human, being controlled by them is not.