Fear | Due respect and due diligence

"We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them."

This quote, which I stumbled across the other day, perfectly captures how fear shapes our daily lives. It reflects the mindset of the common person, who walks through life burdened with a hundred fears, tackling at least ten of them daily, and on unlucky days, succumbing to a couple. When that happens, it dents our confidence, and recovery isn’t always quick. Some people emerge from this process changed entirely. This change could be for the better or the worse but who are we to judge? We, as human beings, evolve mentally on a daily basis. Some grow into more daring or reckless versions of themselves, while others become wary or timid. 

Fear, as a concept, has three primal motivations: death, abandonment, and failure. Each carries its own intensity and leaves its mark on a person’s wisdom over time. These fears are natural; they exist within every human being. Anyone who denies this is simply not ready to accept reality. So, let’s break them down one by one.

Fear of Death

Although death is the final chapter in our lives, it's often the first and biggest fear we encounter, even in childhood. We are taught discipline and humanity under the looming shadow of death. The simplest way to understand the value of life is by grasping how death affects us and those around us. What is life, after all, if not an experience made valuable by the knowledge that it will end? Fear death not because it will take away your chance to satisfy materialistic desires or accumulate experiences, but because it might snatch away your opportunity to make an impact. Fear it for the possibility that your existence could become forgettable, not for the chance to outlive your contemporaries without a story to tell. Fear of death only becomes toxic when it controls every trivial action in your life. But when you give it the healthy respect it deserves, that fear turns into caution, which only makes you wiser.

Fear of Abandonment

Abandonment is something that often takes root during adolescence, that sweet spot between puberty and adulthood. This stage is where most of the significant changes hit us, both physically and mentally. It’s like a launchpad for the journey we’re about to embark on. The fear of abandonment typically stems from the need for inclusivity, socializing, and the dread of loneliness. These factors all feed into this fear in different ways, with plenty of overlap. At the top of this hierarchy is socializing, it has the biggest impact on our mental health. The choice you make to position yourself within a certain group influences every aspect of the person you become. After all, what is evolution if not our reactions to our surroundings? If you fail to socialize, you fail to evolve, and eventually, you’ll be abandoned. Inclusivity is part of this equation too, and without it, loneliness is inevitable. At its core, abandonment happens when you choose not to grow within a community, focusing instead on mere survival.

Fear of Failure

Finally, we come to failure; a concept that needs no introduction. We’ve been reciting quotes about failure all our lives, across countless contexts. We all know we fear failure, and that’s understandable. But we should also be smart enough to use this fear to our advantage. You fail at something when you can’t fully accomplish it, and that’s okay. But you fail as a person when you let that fear consume you after a few attempts, creating an artificial phobia that didn’t exist initially. The solution is simple, even if it’s easier said than done: evolve. And yes, this is a recurring theme, but for good reason. Evolution can be consciously hacked if we’re aware of its process. For example, if we start by facing one small fear each day, we can gradually reduce our overall ignorance, building morale and confidence along the way.

Fear is a natural part of life, deeply intertwined with our growth. By understanding and respecting our fears, whether they’re about death, abandonment, or failure—we can turn them into forces that guide us toward wisdom. It’s about giving fear its due respect without letting it control us. In doing so, we evolve into more resilient, self-aware versions of ourselves. This journey may be tough, but it’s what being human is all about.