THAT ONE LONE NIGHT

It was the middle of the night, I was all alone at my home passed out of exhaustion on my couch after a tiring day and suddenly woke up after a nightmare. I got up and drank water from the bottle just beside the couch and reassured myself and settled down a bit.

The house was so silent that I could hear water droplets dripping from the tap and the clock ticking every second, my ears were the only part of my body that still felt alive after all the exhaustion. I just leaned my face back on the sofa staring at the darkness and continued staring until I started to think of all the things that had to be done when I wake up, all the responsibilities I need to shoulder, all the chores I need to take care of and after a point of time my thoughts ended up where they shouldn't and that was "over-thinking".

The sudden rush of emotions were so intense that I had chills all over my body. I couldn't take all the pressure, I needed some fresh air and then I stepped out to the balcony. I started remembering that I was scared of darkness since childhood and it's nothing new really. But the motive of my fears have changed a bit, a lot actually.

In my childhood, it was the ghosts that made it difficult to tolerate the darkness. Now, it's my brain starting to over-think and the realization of responsibility. In some way, I was able to overcome that phobia of ghosts as I grew up but this one is a very difficult nut to crack. If it were the ghosts, I just had to outrun them at least that's the solution what my brain had to offer to an imaginary presence that it created to intimidate me. I could try doing that and might succeed but now the gap between me and the haunting presence has closed in. Now, it's in my brain by changing its name to something ordinary and concealing itself and no one believes that it eats away ones mental peace over time. Over-thinking sounds so naïve and stupid that fact makes it more the harmful, it gives you thoughts that you would never have to think about in your life or face in your life for that matter.

The society never really cares about ones mental health as much as they do their physical condition. The one who breaks stereo-types is an outcast and the one who operates in the mechanical way that's universally accepted even though if its wrong, is a responsible citizen. So the way it stands society won't ever change on its own and you just have to break as many stereotypes as possible until you die. Fears are all constant, the way you get frightened is what changes all throughout your life.